Self esteem is earned !- Gyan centre

This is a post I write from my heart. And I do hope my children take this advice and suck it into their systems like a sponge sucks water.

Brace yourselves, here goes, in first person narrative:

  1. We co-inhibit this world with trillions of other life forms, inclusive of billions of homosapiens. If I were to think that everyone should have my values and thought process, I’d be in for disappointment.It would be expecting a lion to  not eat me just,  ‘coz I don’t feed on lions !!

I think the best way out is to have be clear about my values  and to stick to them and also to be flexible enough to  accomodate people around my values. The way I see it , alienating from people is not the best option available. And not adhering to my values feels crappy in the end…so this is my best solution.

Note: To think that I would be able to change peoples belief or the way they see and do things, I have learned the hard way, is stupidity. Do not attempt it! Concentrate on yourself and your own thing.

2. True happiness is not really found in money,career,friends… For me , to be truly happy is to have peace of mind. That state when your mind is so at rest. You can sleep well, eat well and just be alive without worry and mind chatter. Thats true bliss.

So while money, fame, friends can add to bliss, they are not the only components or even the main components. For me to be really in sync with who I am, to see the positivity, the hope, the sky, the stars and to be alive in that moment- to be truly alive in the moment – thats true happiness.

Note: One of the biggest things that deters me from being in the moment is depending /loving/caretaking someone else to an extend beyond necessary. whether your partner, your child, your parent, do not overdo or over expect. Do your own thing – let them do their own. Something in the lines of – live and let live ! 

Also, do not think of what others think about us- thats their business not ours.

3.Self respect is earned.

And I think it is one of the major ingredients of becoming the best you. Nothing can work as a substitute for self esteem. being happy and secure in who you truly are is damn essential.

Through the trials and tribulations, through emerging winners at the challenges thrown at us by life we earn self respect. when, in spite of the challenges, and not because of the lack of them, we emerge victorious, thats when we give ourselves this prize of self respect. And it’s a prize like none other. Embrace your challenges- for if you do it right- it will award you with faith in yourself.

Go live, have an adventure. So that when god asks you how was heaven, you will have the answer ready. Discover yourselves, give youselves the wings to fly.

 

 

 

 

And the twist

So everything was hunky dory till 2 days ago…and then ! Out of nowhere started the bleeding and the stress . Rushed to the doctor. I am not going into the details. Negative things are not worth reliving. To cut the long story short, it was choatic and nerve wrecking…but the good thing is  everyone is fine. Plus it gives me the much needed down time to catch breath – did I mention that I have been advised 2 weeks bed rest? Am only allowed to get up to use the wash room.

I was and am concerned about Ryan and Law…however, Law is doing a good job of handling things. Ryan missed a days school, but off he is to school from today.images

On a positive note, I am concentrating on harbouring positive feelings and avoiding the stress and strain which workplace brings. People are showing love calling and texting and visiting. Food is from moms- god bless her! I am blessed to have good friends- god bless N abunduntly for all her support and love.  All in all, everythings working out fine.

From 3 to 4:

Wohoooo !! We are gonna multiply ! Once again ! After, almost a gap of 7 years 🙂 🙂stock-vector-happy-family-expecting-new-baby-309370718

Law is the first one to be excited- super duper excited. Ryan follows close behind with just one request…that when the baby comes, Ryan is still taken care of by mama. And the baby is taken care of by dada. ;P   . I am the last to catch on. Though the pregnancy is planned, it still involves huuuge changes for me. From stopping my yoga to slowing down with my life coaching and my career and a   thousand small and big things in between.. I am also concerned as to how Ryan is handled throughout all this. Since he has been the cynosure till date, I dont ever wanna let him feel different or insecure.

But, by the grace of god, everything is moving fine. I dont have the nerve wrecking nausea till date. And I am mightily thankful for that. Am  currently  in the 6th week. Have bloating and constipation. Started with folic acid, calcium and iron supplements.

Life has never been better. 🙂 🙂  And truly. thankyou god for everything .

A gist of updates

Ryan is 4 now. Between the last post and the latest, I have been idle- that’s almost a year’s gap.  :O

Here’s a gist of updates to fill in the big gap :

* Laila : She was 3 months when we got her, a- spur-of–a-moment decision. But boy,  are we glad !! She made herself home very quickly and she is an absolute no hassle cat. Yeah, she is a cat !! An adorable one at that, not to mention spellbindingly beautiful !

We were divided on whether to call her Laila or pumpkin, and Laila won hands down. Her name  justifies her looks and her behavior. She is undeniably beautiful- she has perfect markings, healthy coat, long whiskers….

There is nothing that she likes more  than to snuggle next to Ryan – her head on his lap- and snooze. Or to play catch with a ball. Or to follow him to the bathroom, laying in wait for him to finish his work. And Ryan loves her 🙂 🙂

You are truly amazing Laila, and we are tremendously happy to be having you in our lives.

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** Ryan’s visist to India : In the hot and not so happening summer, me and Ryan , sans Law, went to the cool and rainy India in the month of July-Aug. Mumbai was beautiful, especially since we hadn’t enjoyed rain for 2 years. And the place was tranquil. Ryan was in love with his nanaji and needless to mention the nanaji just adores the little chimp. And I had a gala time in India- was at peace- as I didn’t worry about Ryan hanging with me every second…He was always, always with nanaji. And I could spend all some quality time on myself.

Ryan really had a ball of a time playing outdoors, meeting his cousins, going to the beach, taking evening walks with nanaji and simply enjoying the rain.

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*** Ryan’s 4 b’day : Ryan’s 4th b’day was celebrated with a difference in Mumbai. We celebrated it with the underprivileged kids. Ryan cut a beautiful cake and distributed it to the kids with some gifts. It was truly heart touching to the kids smiling. Reminded me to count my blessings and to teach Ryan to do so too.

I’d definitely love more of these kind of b’days.

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**** Start of school :

Ryan has started with lower kinder garten from 10th September.

Ryan has already taken like a proverbial fish to the water.

He loves his friends, loves his teacher [ a big relief] and he loves going to school.

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The Performer !

So, yesterday, we had gone to this Eid  party, organised by my ex-colleques  in Al – Ventura compound. The evening was lively and tremendously enjoyable – games, dance,song – fun,fun,fun !

But what really stood apart, and the reason why this evening made it as a post on this blog is ‘coz Ryan ‘performed’ in front of a crowd. 3 – 4 questions answered clearly and ‘twinkle twinkle’ rhyme sang beautifully, holding the mike all the time. My heart swelled with pride…needless to mention I was tremendously proud 🙂 🙂

Till the moment Ryan had the mike in his hand and had it going, I was skeptical if he would actually do it.

Three cheers to my darling , who is otherwise very shy, to have had the courage to have performed 🙂

My only regret is that I was so engrossed in being around him that I didn’t video or click the moment. Law did not attend the party either. Hence, I am doing the next best thing….mentioning it on the blog here to cherish the memory forever.

5 things that I treasure about Ryan.

Undoubtedly, the whole of Ryan is treasure-worthy. I am truly  blessed to be his mom.

However here are the 5 things/qualities which majorly define him :

1.    Right from a very young age, Ryan had a good vocabulary. However, at 3 years, He most definitely supersedes most of the other children I have seen of his age in the matter of speech and vocab.And no ! It’s not just me saying it…anybody who has met him says the same. He expresses his feelings and thoughts very precisely and clearly.

2.    He is amazingly loyal. And sensitive.

When I am upset and am sitting in the study room by myself, he will come to me, keep his palm on my cheeks and ask “What happened mama?? You Irritate  [irritated] ? I am your best friend…I will give you the red lollipop,ok mama?” Or when I am teary-eyed, he will come and wipe my tears with his shirt and after hugging say ” No cry mama, come I will hug you” And you know how that feels ?? Like HEAVEN.

I am sure one day he will make a fine husband to his woman. So far, he is  a thorough gentleman.

3.    His selection of songs, dresses and such.

4.    He can be insanely funny at times and can be seen rolling on the floor laughing at his own jokes…making the onlookers laugh at his antics in the process.

5.    Tech-savvy – that’s Ryan. He doesn’t need Law’s or my help to operate a laptop or an android. Ryan can make his way through the gadgets smoothly.This when he can’t read…I can’t imagine what will happen when he knows how to read !

3 AND COUNTING.

Off goes the ‘infant’ and the ‘toddler’ stage with the ‘boy’ stage setting in… Ya !! Ryan has turned 3 and in style 🙂 🙂

     Since the little fellow is not so little any more and understands the concept of birthdays, cake, party, gifts etc. we arranged a lavish do at the banquet hall of the   India Gate Hotel, with  around 25 invitees . The focus was to make it a special day for Ryan and to have as many of his friends as possible, around him. I am mighty pleased with the way it turned out. With the saudi champagne flowing and the small talk keeping the adults busy, the kids were having a gala time just running around and shrieking… I am so fascinated with the thought that children need just so little to be really happy – if you know what I mean…

               Dressed in a semi formal attire, the boy looked every bit of a prince that he is !!

A special mention also goes to the cake. I wanted to have a cartoon themed cake with probably a spiderman theme. However Ryan was so enthused on seeing the Ben 10 theme that we went ahead with that. Here’s a glimpse of the cake:Image  

             Here’s wishing my darling baby many more happy returns of the day and a prosperous and meaningful life ahead with Birthday song just for you . Ummaaah.

Hakuna Matata………….

Prologue : Law is a couch potato plus some more :/  while me, the great and responsible mama that I am is more interested in books and other creative pursuits . 🙂 


                  Ryan shows interest in both television and books .However I do see him spending more time than I would like with T.v and laptop . 😦    He has seen Lion King at least 30 times and Puss in Boots the same number of times if not more. Nemo,Toy story,Walls-E are some others which he has seen and enjoyed. Plus the everyday dose of dinosaur and tom and jerry cartoons on laptop.  Ufff !!
To be really honest, I feel quilty too, ‘coz I let him watch it when I want him off my hand or when I in kitchen and am better off without his tantrums :(. Being a mom makes me feel so quilty I tell you, especially when I am at my sensitive best…ya, you guessed it when I am PMSing . ** Sigh**

                     I really don’t appreciate couch potatoes and think that these people are just wasting away their time as they are not creative enough to entertain themselves in other ways. So needless to say I’ m not very happy with Ryan’ s over-inclination towards the Tv and laptop.

However, the silver lining is the fact that he is as interested, in books too. Every night before going to bed, he needs at least 2 – 3 stories to be told and whats more, if he is in a mood, he tells his momma a story too . 🙂 🙂

      It’s been some months now that I have been making him practice strokes, colouring etc. His colouring strokes have become very firm and he does try to keep the colours within the boarders. 🙂  Plus he knows and recognises all the colours perfectly . 🙂

These are some of the work that we have accomplished recently. He is not the only one who has worked on these pictures. If I don’t sit with him , his interest fades away quickly – so my handiwork is also to be seen in these pictures:ImageImageImage

 

                   Signing off, firmly telling myself to do more creative work with Ryan and thereby to  spend more time in the coming 2 months as I’d  be home full time before the next term commences.

 

 

The comeback !!

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. Hoping that these lines work their magic, I am posting a pic of Ryan who is 2 years and 8 months now with Law. It was taken during a recent outing to the beach to beat the summer heat. And these two guys had real fun – were in the water for about 3 hours and even then, came out only because it got too dark with a concerned coast guard keeping a close eye on them 🙂

P.S: This post is meant as a comeback of sorts. I haven’t written a single post for almost a year now and I can’t even think of a lame excuse of why posts didn’t happen. God knows as I do that there were so many milestones that I wanted to write here…. Anyhow,the past is gone and done with, let me hope I don’t fall prey to my laziness henceforth !!

Bliss !

It’s festive season here, and everything – from schools to offices are closed. So Law has got free time and we, along with the in-laws and cousins have been outdoors…enjoying the cool and the awesome weather. Yesterday we were at one of the cornische from morn till night. 🙂 🙂
And let me say it once more, the weather was just a.w.e.s.o.m.e 🙂
The headlines of yesterday’s trip was that after fishing for around 7 hours at a stretch we caught 1 small,teeny weeny fish 😛 😛 😛
This was especially funny ‘coz while all these grown up guys from our group could manage to catch but 1 fish, there was a small boy of about 9-10 years who caught about 5 fish in about 2 hours and even gave one fish to these guys as a way of consolation !!! hahahaha
Ryan had a amazing day what with so much fresh air, the open sky, the water and the green grass. Not to mention the fact that all his cousins were around .
Today we are off to Dammam, but before signing off, here’s a pic of me and my chimp. He dozed off in my arms and I had the entire universe to thank for the awesomeness of the moment – with my darling in my arms, the water in front, the cool air and flanked by the family 🙂

Been long..

…since I updated the any of the many wonderful things that Ryan does or says.
The last post was when I reached Saudi, and that seems like from eons ago !! Life kinda got too lazy in here…with me turning into a lazy bone cum lazy bum free smileys
So let me warn you before hand: this post is gonna be real jerky. You see, it’s been ages since I blogged. Or wrote anything else for that matter !! 😐

There are so many important things that I wanted to post about…for starters, Ryan turned 2 this August and about the same time He got his first pet – a pair of guinea pigs which were [and are] so lovey-dovey celebrity fashion gallery that they have had 6 babies so far! Since only 3 of the babies survived their population count stands at 5
now !!

Ryan has started communicating, like really communicating… He had started talking quite a while back but now I hear him responding aptly to what is being spoken to him. I am really amazed with his lingo and his vocabulary. Like yesterday I happened to make this amazing fish curry [check out the recipe at here ] and when Ryan tasted it He said: Mama Chilli…full chilli.
After a lil while when I tasted it, and looked at him with water in my eyes, this is what he had to say with a worldly-wise look: Yayan say [told] mama, fish curry full chilli. Take this. Drink mumum [handing over his water sipper to me].
Ryan has some quirky traits too, like holding on too a small thing while sleeping. It could be a chocolate, could be a small toy, my mobile…Oh! by mobile I recollect: He loves talking on the mobile. One can find him making ‘serious conversation’ and jotting down important points [like dada] and saying: take yayan number,198734,ok?? got it?? and while he is at it, asking all of us to keep quiet: “no make sound ok mama? ok dada? Yayan making inteportant[important] call to uncle. yayan busy”
Till a while back, he used to describe himself using the word ‘pretty’…Now the word has been replaced by ‘handsome’. He loves to lay his hands on the steering of the car, loves to turn on the wiper. He is still as clingy and as fuzzy eater as before 😦 **sigh**
But he is also a very balanced and sensitive kid…so what, if it’s his momma saying it so ?? 😛

Ok, That’s about it for now. I know..I know…The post was jerky, here and there and all over the place .But I warned you before, didn’t I?? 😛 😛

Let me sign off with a recent picture of Ryan:

News from Saudi Arabia

We flew on the 19th of may to Dammam [Saudi Arabia]. And what a reception we had in the airport… Law, Bua, chachu, mama – all with big smiles and warm hugs – felt really happy to be with the family. Ryan was and has been an amazing kid right from the time we have reached saudi…Gone is his clinginess. He has a big smile plastered on his face most of the time and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes forever. His vocabulary has always amazed me,but now that he has started constructing sentences and ‘communicating’ in the real sense of the word, everyone is taking notice and forever praising his linguistic skills.I love the fact that he has start communicating so well . I am damn proud of him and I’ m sure Law is too.
Oh! and did mention that he just looovveess his dad?? So Law is treated to teary goodbyes while going to office and warm and extremely excited cries of “dada Yayan pick-up” [meaning: pick Ryan up] when he returns. I am forever praising and sending a silent thanks to lord almighty for these beautiful moments.
In the 3 days that we have been here, Ryan has already figured out that dadiji keeps a ‘thitha’ in her purse invariably and that R chachu is a lovable perennial joker . He has also understood that in case he wants to see his dad and his dad happens to be in the washroom, all He needs to shout is ” Mama, Yayan tummy potty” [ Ryan’s tummy wants to do potty] !!!
He is still a fuzzy eater but the situation is better than before.
However there is one thing that bothers Ryan . He does not have access to see squirrels and birds and butterflies like before. Also We have to wait for Law to be back from work so that we can go out. I think that at times he feels like he is being ‘held’ in the house.But he is making the best of what he has …
Here’s a recent snap of his [ his first outing in Saudi]:

Child development, Nutrition and inter-personal relationships :)

The officer at the Driving License counter asked the lady “What is your occupation?” The woman seeking renewal of her license seemed to be puzzled. So the officer said “Ma’am, are you employed, have your own business or…….. The woman replied “Oh, yes!! I have a full time occupation. I am a mother.”

Officer: “We don’t have ‘mother’ as an option for occupation. I will write it down as ‘Housewife’. That takes care of all questions.”

This had happened long ago, and was forgotten. Years later when I went to get my license, the Public Relations Officer was a somewhat pompous woman. “Your occupation?” she asked in a rather authoritative tone.

I just had an inspiration and replied “I am a researcher in the field of Child Development, Nutrition and Inter-personal Relationships.” The lady officer stared at me in amazement. I calmly repeated my statement and she wrote it down verbatim. Then, unable to conceal her curiosity, she politely asked “What exactly do you do in your profession, Ma’am?”

I was feeling good about having described my occupation so calmly and confidently. So I replied “My research projects have been going on for a number of years (mothers never retire!!). My research is conducted in the laboratory as well as in the field. I have two bosses. (One is God and the other is my entire family). I have received two honours in this field (a son and a daughter). My topic is considered to be the most difficult part of sociology (all moms will agree!!). I have to work more than 14 hours every day. Sometimes even 24 hours are not enough and the challenges are tougher than many other professions. My compensation is in terms of mental satisfaction rather than money.”

I could see that the officer was thoroughly impressed. After completing the licensing formalities, she came to the door to see me off. This new viewpoint about my occupation made me feel much better on my way back home. I was welcomed by my 5 year old research assistant at the door. My new project (my 6 month old baby) was energetically practicing her ‘music’.

I had earned a small victory over the Governmental red tape today. I was no longer ‘merely a mother’, instead I was now a highly placed functionary in a service vital for mankind – Motherhood!!

‘Mother’ – Isn’t it a great title?

P.S: This email forward is an awesome one…one of those which deserves a read by as many people as possible. I read it in one of my friend’s [scorpria] blog and didn’t feel like not posting it on mine ;). Have a good read 🙂 🙂

A Beeeg Boy Now…

Fruits !!!
Ryan woke up about half an hour ago. After cuddling, hugging and singing some rhymes to get the mood bright and energetic, I wanted him to have some cereals. He had one spoon and off he went saying “nahin” !! Thinking that he was in no mood for cereals, I asked him if he wants chikoo or Grapes. He said “chickoo”. As I came out of the kitchen, carrying in a plate the cleaned and deseeded chickoo ,Ryan came up to me with with a slice of raw mango in his hand and said “mango”…. Thinking that the chickoo will go uneaten,to tempt him I said “chickoo..yummy. momma is gonna eat them. My muscles are gonna grow .”
Ryan Countered me saying “Mango..yummy. Chickoo dirty. Yayan muscle” [Chickoo is dirty and mangoes are yummy. Ryan’s muscles are big !!!!]
From a non-talking baby, to a communicating small boy, hmm…it’s amazing and I am not just talking about the words he uses, it’s also about the actions that accompany those words…worth a watch anyday!!

From here
My lil one is no longer a lil one. He has become beeeg.From an infant to a toddler to a child who can communicate.
To here

Am I proud ?? You bet ! 🙂 🙂