20
Oct
09

I am back…With my bundle of joy wrapped in blue!

   Contrary to the belief of many well meaning friends, I wasn’t taken away by an UFO / taken sick / stopped blogging etcetera all… The vanishing act was not intentional – just happened. Well, I have promised myself at least one post a week so that I don’t go missing again.

 

     I will sum up the last couple of months in as little words as possible: Honestly speaking, Kollam isn’t the best of places in the world!! The climate is toooo humid and sticky and the environment too gossipy. Anyway, Once the troops [Law, my dad and my in laws] were there, it was funnnnn….I was glad to have all the people who are close to me around when I really needed them.

  My due date happened to be the 6th of august. The baby was still showing no signs of coming out – guess he felt comfortable and cozy in his mommy’s tummy. My gynecologist RS was of the opinion that since the placenta had attained grade 3 calcification [meaning it was mature] waiting further wasn’t really sensible. However, as a final try, she did try to induce the pain – but no luck! I was taken in for a c-section on the 7th at about 13.15 hrs. It is so difficult to put in words the emotions that I went through. First of all, since we were expecting [and wanted] a normal delivery it became a little difficult to accept a c-sec. Secondly, The doc had agreed that Law could be by my side during the delivery but with it being a c-sec Law wasn’t allowed to. [Also, personally I feel that Law had developed cold feet to actually see all the blood and the injections...Let me be the first one to shout it out: Law is really frightened of everything that goes on in the hospitals]. And more than anything I started missing my mom like crazy – this feeling always washes over me on all the important occasions in my life. The mid-wife who was helping me in getting ready was trying to make small talk and was able to gauge the kind of mood I was in. She called Law to where I was putting on the gown and he came in to say that everything is gonna be alright…and there it went!! The emotions bottled up in me [which the meantime had got converted to buckets of tears started rolling down me]. Now the one thing that I really hate is crying in front of others and the worst part of it was that on being questioned I wasn’t really sure as to what the reasons were.

   Once the anesthesia was given, I was lost to the world.

I don’t know when I came to, but I was still in the operation theatre being observed. I was feeling groggy when a nurse bought in the baby near me. I wanted to capture my first view of him and keep it frozen in my mind forever…but my still-under-anesthesia-mind allows me to remember only his tremendous mane of hair and his puffy eyes -He looked very Caucasian to me. I remember whispering his name and kissing him lightly on his temple.   He was again whisked away from me. I don’t remember much of anything else that day.

Master Ryan Lawrence was born on the 7th of august at 15.28 hrs and weighed a healthy 3.25 Kgs at birth.

  

 So far, He has been a pretty hassle free kid – sleeps at night, enjoys being talked to and totally hates his massage lady!! Oh! How he cringes at the sight of her!!

 

  The entire experience of pregnancy of bringing a child into this world – it completely humbles me. I recommend it for every woman to experience it at least once in their lifetime. The words of Elizabeth Stone ring so clear and true “making the decision to have a child- it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body”. Though my heart hasn’t really started walking outside, I do see it flapping his hands and legs, gurgling when spoken to, smiling as if to assure me that everything is all right and crying if in want of something… tell you what – It’s an amazing feeling and overpowers million times the stench of potty and pee.

16
May
09

The Worries and the Hurrays…

I am in the 28th week of pregnancy [already??? hard to believe!]

These are some of the feelings cruising through me:

The Worries :

  • Dormant lifestyle:  I have been dormant for most part of my pregnancy - the extensive bout of nausea and aversion to food in the first 3 months appears to have set a pattern for the rest of the months- at least as far as lethargy is concerned…I feel very lethargic and lazy.
  • The almost non-existent walks: I have not religiously followed the morning and the evening walk schedules.
  • Exposure to early morning sunlight:  Its supposed to do a world of good to the mommy and the baby… didn’t expose myself to too much of these.
  • Stretch marks:  they have lived upto their name…have made their presence felt in a big way!
  • Mood- swings:  Being super duper sensitive doesn’t really help one to take the mood swings in ones stride..

But I have actually tried real hard to not let those mood swings get me…I have been mostly a happy-expectant mommy. I am very happy with my efforts.

 

The Hurrays :

I have been feeling happy and good…so far it has been a good semester.

The Garbh Sanskar  CD has been put to optimum use. Aesop’s fables have come into picture in a big way- what with the mommy reading the stories time and again to the lil one …

  Now I am a big hipped lady with a cooool baby bump [I simply adore the bump]. I weigh a good 59 kgs…all because of the now-big-butts and  the baby bump. [Nothing else seems to have changed much].

  Dada appears to be missing all the fun and action – calls up  couple of times a day to say how much he misses the mommy and the baby [" I miss you guys"- an oft repeated sentence lately]

We love you  and miss you too dadda. Waiting for you to come to India.

19
Apr
09

Pampered and Fretted on…

…that’s how the monthly check up with Dr. Bhatia  felt like…what with the doc and the attending nurse being extremely sweet and nice and going out of their way to make me feel comfortable.

As usual,  first and foremost my pressure was checked which was perfectly fine, then my weight -viola!! I had put on 3 kilos in a month. So now, I weigh a-never-before 55 kgs!! I have mixed feelings about weighing this much:

  • I feel happy as I am looking definitely pregnant now, unlike before , when I used to look like a skinny girl with a bulging tummy!
  • I am sad because I never had weight issues before, I have never needed to be on a diet and I don’t know if I ever can be on one!! I don’t know if I am prepared  to reduce this weight [+the additional kilos that I am obviously gonna gain in the next 3 months] post delivery…[anyway, this is something that I am gonna fret about later]

Anyways, coming back to the appointment with the doc, I was my usual self – chatting away ten to a dozen and asking all kinds of questions. And then it was the time to see the darling little thing….or rather,the darling big thing as s/he was no more a little thing. For  Ryan/Michelle had grown – so much so that his/her pictures do not fit into one ultrasound frame like before. The doc has to measure his/her head then the legs, the torso… She/He weighs exactly 754 gms – explains why I weigh the amount I do!! Ryan/Michelle – as has always been a trend so far – was never still, kept moving persistently and as a result the doc had a hard time adjusting the mike to get his/her heartbeat. S/he  did settle down for a couple of seconds just enough for us to hear his/her heart thudding…without doubt this is one of the most beautiful sounds that a parent can hear. By now, Law has kinda got used to the ultrasound images, so much so that he was the at the forefront at pointing to the baby’s eyes, nose, spinal chord, ears with the doc nodding her head in approval and adding her additional comments which have been wonderful to hear so far [Thank you Lord for that].

 The One thing that that tugs my heart the most is the sight of the baby grounding his/her hands into a fist and taking it towards his/her mouth or ear. I don’t know why this particular pose, but this is the one that makes me feel the most maternal  and protective…it touches me  in a way that I will never be able to explain in words.

                  I was given a shot of tetanus as I am planning to travel to Mumbai on the 24 of this month. As I am composing this draft, I have mixed feelings about staying away from Law for such a long period of time [around 4 to 5 months]…Of course, he will come down by July end during the delivery and be there for a month or so…but still the thought is depressing. I guess I am so used to him being around – sometimes loving, sometimes understanding, most of the times irritating…!

There are zillion things to pack, 459826 things to be taken care of, shopping to be done and so little time – most of which I am gleefully cribbing and whiling away…




BABY

you make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for”

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